WARNING: contains spoilers
I like going to the movies and last year had little opportunity to do so. I was very, very busy and at my local cinema they have an annoying tendency to not show things that I like to see. They veer more towards the strange science fiction or alien invasion movies.
During my summer holidays I was able to catch up on my movie viewing. Unfortunately, or fortunately depending on how one sees it, the video shop had few options I liked. This is how I ended up taking home Friends with Kids. I had heard a movie review of this movie and it was not glowing.
The original review I heard was largely accurate. The movie does not portray relationships positively. Sex and physical appearance are important elements to Jason (Adam Scott), the male protagonist. The decision he and his best friend, Julie (Jennifer Westfeldt) make, to have a child together whilst avoiding the challenges children present to relationships, is actually made in a realistic fashion. It is plausible, especially in our culture. It highlights the selfish ideology we humans tend to have. We are the most important people in our world’s and our happiness and fulfilment is the most important thing for us to worry about. It does not matter who else is hurt or damaged in the process.
The movie was billed as a romantic comedy. There was very little comedy and even less romance. Jason and Julie’s friends who are married with kids provide the only ‘polite’ humour in the movie as they struggle to raise their kids and maintain the rest of their lives. Much of the other humour is crass or toilet-like.
It will be, I hope, no surprise to anyone that Jason and Julie end up together at the end of the movie. Jason is the last to come to the realisation that he wants to be with Julie and their son, Joe. The last to realise, thanks to his now separated friend, that the romance is in the ongoing struggle of the relationship and the decision of the couple to continue in the relationship even when things are hard.
This movie was hard to watch. It was not very funny; it was not very romantic. It was angst-ridden and traumatic. It was, though, an accurate portrayal, in my opinion, of the state of society. All around us people are trying to find “the one”, yet they spent much of their time searching making decisions that ultimately negatively impact their future relationship. Decisions that end in heartbreak and disappointment all in the belief that “the one” will ensure their happiness.
It is hard to separate ourselves from similar beliefs. I would like someone to share my life with, to come home to, to answer my self-talk rationally. I like to think God has a husband planned for me. Maybe he does, maybe he doesn’t. Either way, my happiness is not dependent on a relationship that will, in this sinful, fallen world, disappoint me. If God does have a husband planned for me he will not be perfect, neither will I. Thankfully, my relationship with Jesus is not like that. He will not disappoint me. He will romance me all the days of my life.
Trish Lewis 